What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or group makes someone question their own sanity, memory, or perception of events. The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1938 stage play “Gas Light,” in which a husband manipulates his wife into thinking she is going insane by dimming the gas lights in their home and then denying that the lights have changed when she points it out.

Gaslighting can take many forms, but it generally involves the manipulator denying the reality of events, making the victim question their own memory and perception of those events. For example, a gaslighter may deny that a conversation or event took place, despite clear evidence to the contrary, or they may claim that the victim is imagining things or exaggerating the severity of a situation. The manipulator may also go to great lengths to create confusion and uncertainty in the victim, such as lying, withholding information, or playing mind games.

Gaslighting Psychological Effects

Gaslighting can have serious psychological effects on the victim, including feelings of confusion, anxiety, and self-doubt. It can also lead to depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and other mental health conditions. Victims of gaslighting may also feel isolated and unsupported, as the manipulator often works to alienate the victim from their friends, family, and support systems.

Gaslighting can happen in a variety of relationships, including romantic partnerships, friendships, and even in professional or workplace settings. Gaslighting is often used as a tactic by people in positions of power to control and exploit those around them. Gaslighting can also be used by individuals with narcissistic or sociopathic tendencies, who have a need to control and dominate those around them.

How do you know when gaslighting is happening?

Gaslighting can be difficult to detect, as the manipulator often presents themselves as supportive and caring, and the victim may not initially realize that they are being manipulated. It is important for victims to be aware of the signs of gaslighting, such as feeling confused or unsure about events, feeling like they are going crazy, and feeling isolated and unsupported.

If you suspect that you may be a victim of gaslighting, it is important to reach out to a therapist or counselor for support. It can be helpful to keep a journal of events, conversations, and interactions with the manipulator to help you identify patterns of manipulation and to validate your own perceptions and memories. It can also be helpful to seek out the support of friends, family, and other loved ones, as the manipulator may try to isolate you and undermine your support systems.

Gaslighting is Abuse

It is also important to remember that gaslighting is a form of abuse, and it is not your fault that you are being manipulated. You deserve to be treated with respect and to have your feelings and perceptions validated. You are not crazy and you are not alone.

Gaslighting can be an extremely harmful and destructive form of manipulation, but with support and guidance, victims can learn to recognize and resist it, and to regain control of their own lives. It’s important to reach out for help and support, and to not blame yourself for being manipulated. It’s also important to remember that healing from gaslighting can take time, be gentle and patient with yourself.

Conclusion about Gaslighting

In conclusion, gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or group makes someone question their own sanity, memory, or perception of events. It can have serious psychological effects on the victim, such as depression, anxiety, and self-doubt. It can happen in a variety of relationships, including romantic partnerships, friendships, and even in professional or workplace settings. It is important for victims to be aware of the signs of gaslighting and to reach out to a therapist or counselor for support.

Find helpful books on the subject here.